Hillcroft 2s 17 - 7 Welwyn

17th October 2021

The mammoth car journey north to Hertfordshire University sports ground provided keeper Luke Hamilton ample time for multiple plays of Adele’s new banger Go Easy on Me. Such treatment would sadly not be given to Welwyn 2s.

Designated team invalid Will Graham put in an excellent face-off shift early doors, allowing for a decent possession percentage. Utterly delicious chemistry between Wheels and Timmy and strong driving runs by Tim and Gareth put Hillcroft solidly in the lead.

Regrettably a calf injury which Graham had neglected to tell us about (pause naht) relocated him to the sideline for a sizeable portion of the game. Get well soon mate.

Despite Sam Scott’s best efforts on the face Hillcroft retained solid possession, settling O nicely and paving the way for “one of the goddamn coolest damn things I’ve ever seen” (Big Mike 2021) - an aerial catch and flick across the body and down into the bottom corner - earning Timmy a well deserved MOM.

Not wanting to be outdone, the D boys responded in kind in the traditional way, by laying people the f*** out. Notable big hits were administered by both Tina and Kemp, the latter crunching a Welwynite so hard that play was stopped for several minutes. Get well soon mate.

The substantial lead caused a slight frenzy amongst some of the squad at halftime, with Sav declaring that he was going to “kill a man” who was being “too casual” at X. He was firmly reminded by teammates that premeditated murder is a crime and laying someone out for no good reason while enjoying a ten goal advantage is a dick move.

Despite a noticeable dip in energy Hillcroft finished the game strong and retired to the changing rooms victorious to change into colourful Hawaiian shirts and head to the station to catch the booze train home.

Final score: 17-7

MOM: Timmy

DOD: Jolloway