Hillcroft 3s vs Reading - The Last Day of the Season

22nd May 2021

The final Game Day of the season started badly, due to a lack of promised picnic which was “no one’s fault”… The boys were hungry. But with neither pig nor SL Gorilla to gorge upon, we made do with Reading.

A shaky first quarter ensued; ground balls were minimal, passes were dropped and silly penalties were given away. Showering in filtered water may make Aleks’ mighty body squeaky clean but his mighty body-ing, alas, was not. After dropping himself onto the 3s to whale on some noobs like a big man, Jessup threw some truly lethal checks, completely shattering his “Mr Lovely Man” facade. Big Mike decided to be a twat by rolling his ankle and effectively putting himself out for the rest of the game. Scoring was opened by Rob, after an epic pilgrimage from the left wing to crease. No further movement was undertaken thereafter. DOD.

After a stern talking to from El Capitán, the Halibuts began to pick up some serious steam in Q2. Charles “the Pig Kid” Bleach showed that his stick skills can be as silky smooth as his hair, after leaving two Reading chumps for dead. Some big Gs were ripped by both Russ and Chad. PC Ali joined the scoreboard too after hitting the pipes twice which was, ironically, totally criminal.

Refreshed after some unexpected half-time watermelon, courtesy of Engine, battle recommenced. Play followed a similar trend as Brickwall Bardoe stood firm and made the dropped Reading 1s players look very silly indeed. Then, seemingly straight from the pages of the How To Lacrosse Good textbook, came Pedro “o cavalo louco,” with a delicious draw, dump and cut, slotting in his first goal ever. Instant MOM. The boys went wild. Bad luck Chisolm, might want to stay in quarantine pal. Wanting to get in the action, perhaps a little too much, Shayne ripped off a shot so powerful he fell over. Engine failure.

In the final quarter there was evidence of real team cohesion from the Halibuts, a promising sign for next season. Strong drives from midfield from Luke and Keiran and excellent supporting play from newcomer Lewis. We really love to see it. Big Mike had a goal disallowed which he tried to blame his ankle. Poor form. Watts remained steadfast and fearless in his leadership, as the boys saw out the comprehensive W.

Though the season has ended, our love for lacrosse burns stronger than ever. Summer sessions lie ahead, both of the beer and sport variety, and we shall return hungrier than ever.

“Honor in vita et gloria in laxem”